Carol - my soulmate, the love of my life, my best friend and my much better half – the most fantastic mum to James, Kyle and Bec, mum-in –law to Samm and Nanna to our beautiful baby Veronica – the real strength and guiding light behind the whole of our family. Sister, daughter, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, auntie, niece, cousin, godmother and a great friend to so many people.
Now that’s a lot to fit into such a small package but that’s exactly what Carol was all about.
A fiery redhead (and a variety of other colours at times!) filled with such passion, love and joy for life that it was impossible not to be captivated by Carol from the first minute you met her.Carol was all about family, our children were her life, she was an amazing mum and takes all the credit for doing the real work in raising them to be the wonderful adults they are today. Carol put all of her hopes and dreams on hold to raise our family and when I look at James, Kyle and Bec I see Carol. I see the different parts of Carol’s personality in all of them and her courage and strength shine through in them every day.
And I’m a very lucky man - that might sound strange today of all days but it’s the truth when I think that I was able to share the last 25 years of my life with Carol. I often asked her why she picked me all those years ago – in my “I’m not worthy” moments – but Carol would give me that “I’m not listening - you’re boring me” look. It’s a look that would reappear years later and become infamous within the care team. A look that the girls can no doubt use now to wind each other up, or to remind themselves of all the laughs they had and remember Carol with a smile!
And that’s the first thing people mention when they talk about Carol – her smile. A smile that could light up a room in an instant, a smile that was true and open and showed you the glorious heart of the person within. It was a smile that was often accompanied by a very loud laugh – a laugh that could be heard far and wide, a laugh that opened up Carol’s personality to the world - bright, bubbly, energetic, busy - always rushing around – Carol was just a free spirit that couldn’t be held back.
Of course that much passion and energy also leads to some blowouts and Carol could certainly get stressed when she put her mind to it! It was a source of much amusement at times – the New York subway incident is one the boys remember well! We got separated from Paul and Bec and Carol went into meltdown! There was no sign of them back at our hotel so I was ordered – yes ordered – to go out and look for them. Despite my protests that there were around 8 million people in New York, and Paul and Bec did actually know where our hotel was, Carol still ordered me to go! Needless to say they made their own way back while I was out searching – but Carol didn’t speak to me the whole of the following day because it was my fault we’d gotten separated and I hadn’t actually found them!
We should also mention Carol’s “other man” – a certain Mr Elvis Presley. There’s not a great deal you can do to compete with The King so you just have to go with the flow. However I did stand my ground when it came to having a 6 foot cardboard cut-out of him right next to the bed – that’s just too much pressure so he was relegated to the landing! The experience of that first American trip, seeing the joy and the tears on Carol’s face when we got to Graceland is something that will stay with me forever, and Carol has requested that a part of her will make that return trip – this time to stay. In fact, wherever they are right now, I’m quite certain that Elvis has already had to take out a restraining order – I can see Carol chasing him around as clearly as I can see her dancing wildly to Suspicious Minds in front of the TV in the lounge – turned up full blast of course!
I suppose it’s impossible to get through today without mentioning the last few years – we wouldn’t even be here today if it wasn’t for that - but Carol would not want us to dwell on what couldn’t be changed. Carol’s journey is recorded in our blog and that record shows how Carol fought so hard for so long and stubbornly refused to give in. There are a number of special people named there who meant a lot to Carol, they know who they are and we know the feelings were mutual. Carol touched so many people during her life and so many lives were deeply affected by her presence, and so many of us are better, stronger people because of Carol – she was quite simply the bravest and most inspirational person any of us are ever likely to meet.
Carol defied the odds and kept going for much longer than she should have – and that was just down to sheer bloody mindedness, willpower and never wanting to be beaten. We crammed as much as we could into those few short months and Carol always wanted to do more. Despite everything that happened to her Carol didn’t complain, there were some dark days but there was always that smile to bring us all out into the sunshine again. Carol was always in charge, making all the decisions right to the very end -and preparing well in advance to make it easier on all of us when the time came.
Somebody said that Carol and me were two halves of a whole. Well I know which half was the strongest one, which half was the bravest one and which half was the most amazing – and the remaining half now needs to honour the life and the memory of that most wonderful lady.
We should all remember what Carol taught us about life, it’s precious, it’s short, it’s there to be lived and it shouldn’t be wasted.
Carol, I owe you everything and I love you with all of my heart always.
Thank you for sharing your life with me, for the gift of our beautiful children and for bringing light into the lives of so many people.
You’ll never be forgotten and your smile will light all of our days – sleep well my lovely lady.
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